Brewin Dolphin : Life Stories - real life letters

24 May 2018

Brewin Dolphin - one of the UK's leading wealth managers asked the nation to write letters to their future selves to help them describe their long-term life goals and plan for them.

Dear….

I am still married and now have grandchildren who adore me I spend my time between our two houses in the UK and abroad (where I spend the winter) I still play golf and have recently taken up bowls. I have been all around the UK and also abroad - there are few places still for me to see but I am slowly ticking them off my bucket list.

Most of the things I wanted from life I have fully or partially achieved. Certain goals have been discarded as when I have got older I have realised that they were not achievable anyway. I finished working when I was 50 years old and have spent a lot of time enjoying myself still being able to do most of the things I wanted to. This has also allowed me to play an active part in my children and grandchildren's lives.

I made it to the top of my profession and was allowed early retirement with a good pension. My financial situation is secure. I have a more than adequate pension and my partner also has income from their pension and investments. We have built up a portfolio of property which we both use and rent out when we are not using it which provides income to maintain these properties. This all began when we were both working and has continued since then.

We have always had sufficient income to allow us the lifestyle we wanted. We did not use our income frivolously but put it to good use and are now reaping the rewards. I am most proud of my success in sport, my family and the difference I made during my working years. My biggest achievement was a medal in the 2022 commonwealth games. My most important decisions were what to work at, who to marry and when to have children. It has also been important to have time to develop my skills and give me wellbeing.

Yours… Female, 44

Dear….

As an old man, I hope to still be working, honestly!

I love my line of work, and I hope that people still depend on me for advice and leadership. I hope that I am still with my partner, and my children are happy. I hope to live in either a quiet seaside town, or in a flat in central London. Both are aspirational and places I would like to live. I am an avid film watcher and gamer, so I will still be doing them at an old age. I also play football and jog, but I may not be able to fulfil those tasks at an old age.

I would also like to learn a language, when I have the time! I think that travel is very important. I travelled around Australia and New Zealand when I was younger, and it was a great benefit to me. I hope that I am still travelling at that age. I am on course to achieving what I want to, all I need to do is focus on the task in hand. I hope at an old age I look back and think I did the right thing.

My current job and my passion are both very separate. My full time job is an office worker, but I am currently also a part time writer. The work I have written has had interest from the BBC and Channel 4 so hopefully something can come of it. I hope that my financial situation doesn't worsen. I am currently good with savings and I hope it stays this way for a long time.

Money was very important, as it means freedom. Without it, you cannot live the life you hope you lead. I don't intend to retire so I hope that it doesn't come to it. My biggest achievement will always be my children. I doubt anything I will ever be as proud of them as anything else. My important decisions are the ones that took the greatest risk. The greatest risks are always the ones with the biggest payoff. If you don't try to risk anything, you won't have big rewards.

Yours… Male, 35

Dear….

Its been a good life and I shall shortly be a centurion. I hope the Queen will remember me...!

My children (2) are now both retired - but my 5 grandchildren are a treasure. I live in an old house deep in Devon where I have lived since a child. I don't want to live elsewhere since it is very healthy here I now don't very much by way of leisure .... but my garden keeps me going, just like it always has.

Joy of joy!!! My children paid for me to go on a World Cruise a few years ago. It was on Queen Mary 2 - and I visited many of the countries which I studied in my Geography lessons many years ago. Life has been good for me - having done all what I wanted to. So at this stage of my life I really don't want to do anything else.

Health is crucial of course. I was a nurse and helped many patients over the years, mostly working in local hospitals here in Devon. Its such a shame that they are now closing local hospitals, they were a real treasure in my youth.

Of course you can never have too much money. But money doesn't bring happiness - and I have enough to get by. I get an occupational pension from the NHS. In my youth the money taken out for this seemed a lot. But NOW I'm very pleased that I did this .... naturally I get the state pension as well. I have always considered health much more important than money. But I always put something aside. It was what my mother taught me. She used to have tins for everything.... one for rent, the other my the baker and one for the butcher. ... and so on. But she always had a tin for the future.... we used to put 6d in it when we could afford it. And over the years these really added up.

My days as nurse gave me the opportunity to help others. I helped poor people with medicines (before the NHS came in ) and many many people have lived to a good age due to the help which I was able to provide The most important decision I ever made was to become a Nurse. Of course it was not easy - as my parents did not have much money. But I persevered with my training and eventually became a state registered nurse So thank you for all my friends and family - all of whom have helped me to live a fruitful life. I do hope that my grand children have the same opportunity. It seems so very difficult for them to get a house of their own these days. I will help them all that I can financially.

Yours… Female, 54

Dear…

We are all much older now. Grandparents have gone, parents gone. The children have grown up, moved out and having families of their own. Grandchildren are growing quickly too! Still happily married to my wonderful husband. We have spent so many years together and been through ups and downs, but we're still together. Hopefully for many more years to come.

I would love to think we took the leap and moved abroad. Somewhere warm and relaxing. That was always our dream, but too scared to do it! Hopefully we live in a lovely house of our own. The many years we spent renting and paying someone else's mortgage! Everyone comes and visits when they can and they love it. We love it too, doing our own things, enjoying life. I would hope to have kept up my running. I always did enjoy it in my 30s. A great way to keep fit and healthy. Maybe we like gardening now?! We did get a few green fingers in our youth. We are always learning new skills and hopefully we have lots of hobbies and interests we enjoy together and apart.

We always enjoyed a holiday abroad, maybe we went far and wide and went to all places we always wanted to go. Travelling was never my thing as a youngster, but having my family and working hard made me want something to look forward to. A holiday is always a nice thing to look forward to. I never really had anything I wanted to achieve. Living life to the full I suppose. Hopefully that has been achieved and not get down on yourself if you haven't. Sometimes you don't achieve things.

Are you still a secretary, or were you still one at retirement? I always did enjoy it and hopefully my working life completed on a high. We worked hard in our 30s to get out of debt. Hopefully that paved the way for a brighter financial future and we are secure. Keeping an eye on the purse strings never did anyone any harm. I know you don't take it with you when you're gone and you should enjoy it while you're alive, so hopefully we've done that. Money is never important, but it makes the world go round and life more enjoyable. I always was a saver, so hopefully we have a little stashed away for a rainy day?!

Retirement was never close in my mind, but having a pension of some sorts is the done thing. Hopefully between our pensions and savings we have enough to live a fulfilling life and enjoy it. My children are what I am proud of most. They make me smile and laugh and I can see myself in them both. I never had many aspirations, but life itself is an achievement. The most important decision was never leaving you. Sticking together through thick and thin. Trust your instincts and gut feelings.

Yours… Female, 32

Dear…

I am married and have three children, two girls and a boy. My oldest daughter is married with two sons and they live about 10 minutes by car from us. I look after them frequently and enjoy their company very much. It is lovely to see the world again through young children's eyes. I have one or two health problems but nothing serious.

I would have been happy to retire at 60 to devote more time to my children and grandchildren but the government has upped the pension age to 66 for me which seems an uphill struggle. However I do enjoy my life. My husband is 10 years older than me and the age gap is beginning to show, he is much more fragile than me. I live in a big country village in Dorset. My neighbours are great we live in a very quiet street. We are thinking of down-sizing in the next couple of years as it is expensive to run a 4 bed house.

I like listening to music, watching TV, reading, gardening and cooking. Our household is very traditional in that I do most of the housework and cooking. I also love looking after my grandchildren and visiting stately homes. I am a member of the National Trust. My son lived in Boston USA for a couple of years and we visited him there and really enjoyed it. We have also been to Europe many times. We have a big holiday once a year- this year we are going to Sardinia in Italy with the immediate family. My son will join us for a week as he is currently living in Colombia, we hope to visit him there in the next year or so.

I have had a good family life and am grateful that I have 3 healthy happy children. Money wise it has been a struggle, we have not had many lucky breaks, but my family life is more important to me than money. I worked full time in a bank before I had my children, After that I worked part-time so we could both work and look after them. My husband is retired. I have to keep on working - part time in an estate agents and as an invigilator at a local school. If the pension age had stayed the same I could have retired by now.

You do need money especially with children but it is not the most important thing in my life. [I think I'm most proud of my] children and the fact that all went to universities and obtained first class degrees.

Yours… Female, 61

Dear…

[I have] no children, but [I'm] married. I have two or three nieces who I love to look after and take care of, but I can give them back whenever I want. I own property, more likely more than one property. I live in a detached home in the middle of the country side with no one else around us. I will be living in the UK, but maybe abroad, depending on the climate and what happens with Brexit…

I love to read, which I have always loved to do. I like to knit which is a new skill. I love to cook and bake, which I have always loved doing. I love watching TV and film and binge-watching series. I love comedians and comedy films/TV. I enjoy gardening, which is a new skill/hobby. I would love to travel, I want to travel the world, I just do not have the funds to be able to see everything I want to see.

I am focusing on my career at the minute, but would love to take a break after 20 years and travel the world. I would like to be a fully qualified solicitor, doing a job that I love and surrounding by good colleagues. I would like to be married and have a small intimate wedding. I would like a bigger home and enough space for my sister's children. I would feel a little down if I had not achieved my goals Solicitor, then either a coroner or a judge.

I would like to have a good working life balance, but I would love to have achieved something great within my career as well. My income is and always has been good. I will have a mortgage paid off in 20 years and maybe moving to a bigger place. I would like to be financially independent by the age of 50 years old, so that I may retire early. I would like my income to be over £60,000+ at this stage in my life and combined with my partners income, that should put us in a good place.

[Money is] very important, I need to have enough money to live in the house I want and live the life I want, as well as travel as much as I want as well. I believe I will be able to save enough for retirement and should be able to retire early. I am so proud that I went to university and got a law degree. None of my family had ever been and I am the first to do so, I was so proud when I received my degree and I am striving to become a fully qualified solicitor. [Looking back, the most important things were] going to university, deciding to share my life with my best friend of 12 years, and moving back to Yorkshire with him and setting up a life near my family.

Yours… Female, 25

Dear…

I will be single with no dependants but will be auntie to friends children and grandchildren. Still in touch with many cousins I will still live in my home town, In my own detached bungalow near the sea where I can still go for walks along the promenade and admire the view.

I will still be looking after my garden and surfing the internet. I will join some local clubs to meet up with people of a similar age.

I visited America and Canada, I went to most countries in Europe and will continue to travel for as long as I possibly can even if it means going on coach tours I will have money in the bank and my own home so that I can live comfortably and afford the little extras in life.

[For work] I did office work for all of my life and chose jobs which I enjoyed even if the did not pay the highest wages. I will have saved for my old age and have some company pensions, I joined the company pension scheme and put any spare money in the bank I managed to save well once I reached my forties and should have enough to live in old age to enjoy holidays and life's other little luxuries.

My biggest achievement was paying off my mortgage on my own without anyone else's help, it was a hard slog but worth it Most important decisions was to get my own home at a young age and put up with having no spare money to go out but it paid off in the end.

Well done you should be proud of what you have achieved as a single person.

Yours… Female, 50

Dear…

I never got married, but I have one child (a daughter). She is happily married with two children, a boy and a girl. I'm close to my daughter and grandchildren and see them regularly. I own a little cottage by the sea in a town on the east coast of England. My cottage is very pretty and traditional, it's in a quiet location with no close neighbours. I've always wanted to live by the sea, and I moved here when I was in my forties, after having my daughter.

When I was younger I didn't really have any hobbies, but nowadays I have plenty. I like knitting and sewing. I'm a member of my local Women's Institute. I read a lot and I enjoy gardening. I went to a few places, but I wasn't as adventurous as I wanted to be. I did go to America once (to New York), but aside from that I mostly went on package holidays in Europe (Spain, Greece etc) with my daughter and grandchildren. There were things more important to me than travelling the world. I hope that I will have enough money to live comfortably, to afford the occasional luxury and never have to worry how I'm going to pay the bills. I hope that I'll have a close relationship with my family and that I'll have made a few close friends. I hope that I'll be in good health and I'll be able to enjoy leisurely pursuits like walking and gardening. I hope I'll own my own home, preferably next to the sea.

After struggling for a long time to establish a career, I decided to set up my own B&B, which was challenging but allowed me to work for myself and earn a decent wage. I received a large inheritance from my parents, and also earned a little money from running my own business. I was careful with money and I don't have to worry about my finances. It was very important, as I struggled to find a career, so I was able to rely on the money I had in savings. I had enough money to live a comfortable, but frugal, life. I downsized my house when moving to the seaside, so that also contributed to my savings. I'm most proud of becoming a mother and raising my daughter well.

My daughter and granddaughter are my biggest achievement. I'm proud of managing to stay alive, when I suffered badly from depression in my younger life. My most important decision was to have a child, as that was a very life changing decision, and was very difficult as well as a very happy time. My regrets are not working harder at university and pursuing a proper career. I regret never getting married. And I regret losing a large chunk of my younger life to the years of depression.

Yours… Female, 30

Dear…

Sadly, I won't be having children because of my age. I would like to think that my soulmate will finally want to settle and get married. I would like to think that my brother will be settled and happy even though my dad won't be around. Still living in the UK but hopefully not in a town. A quiet little village or on the outskirts of the town where you get on with your neighbours. Hopefully, I will be living with the man I have been seeing for a long time and settled.

When the weather is nice I like to go out for walks or bike rides. I would like to finally be able to drive to give me a bit more independence so that I can travel and visit friends in the UK. There are many places I would still like to see. Egypt and a lot of America. It is important to me to see these things and experience the culture and places myself. to be able to drive, to see the parts of the world I really would like to see, to make a difference to the world by doing all I can to help with ocean problems and global warming etc. I will achieve these things.

If I had my time again I would definitely have trained to be an engineer and worked for the RAF. I know they say that that you can still achieve these things but I cannot afford to take up a full-time course to achieve this dream. I have been happy with what I have achieved in my jobs to date. My financial situation is not great and I am determined to change this within the next three to five years. I want to be able to live comfortably without being in constant debt. I have a company pension, which sadly I did not take out until quite late in life.

I know I am doing what I can now to try and achieve getting a good retirement package. Walking up Mount Snowdon at 12am in the morning and reaching the summit at 4am for Mcmillan cancer. Proud of being a mommy to my two furry animals. Having to put one of my cats to sleep. That was the most difficult decision of my life but the most important as he was in pain and suffering.

I hope to continue to make a difference by being in certain peoples life and to be there for friends and family when they need me.

Yours… Female, 45

Dear…

We are a happy family, united and very prosperous. I have 2 beautiful grandchildren. One of each, they have blue eyes both and they are the reason of my being.

I own a private property, where we have lived all our lives. We still live in London, where I was born and where I met my wife. I have always been a highly sporty person with total energy. I usually read and go out with my family in free time, [like watching] football and read[ing] on social networks. I have travelled all over the world, both personally and at work. I have visited many countries but nothing like where I live, London.

Everything I have proposed I have achieved, I am totally proud of myself. All thanks to my consistency and desire to get ahead I have done several postgraduate and master's degrees. I have several degrees, my career was an engineer and I am very happy to have leaned towards that branch My income is [£50,000] or more, financially I am very stable, I can give myself the taste I want and that nothing is missing at home.

I think about making money and dedicating time to my family Money is not everything, but if you achieve a lot with it. It was very good help to set up my company My biggest internal achievement was graduating and getting my degrees.

I am proud to be the person I am today thanks to my studies and the desire to succeed The main decision was to study to be who I am until now. Travel the world and be a father.

Yours… Male, 27

Dear…

I live in the countryside close to family and my two children both have married and have children of their own. I love to teach and play with my grandchildren. I live in Scotland in a small town with access to the mountains and glens to walk my dog and take the grandchildren on adventures. I also love to take them camping and cycling.

In my spare time I like reading and listening to music. I research my family history and chat to cousins all over the world via the internet. I have been to many countries, USA, India, Portugal, Spain Cyprus, Corfu, Ireland, Gibraltar, and Turkey. I still intend to visit Australia.

I have tried and failed at what I wanted to do but would not change a thing and it has given me wonderful times and memories I have had a varied career starting in the leather trade and moving on to my own business , and then several other careers, unlucky to have been made redundant 13 times.

I have sold my house and taken some of my pension and continue to work. Share options at my company over the next few years will give me a lump sum to invest and be relatively comfortable. Money was never important to me , as I rarely had a job long enough to gain a buffer against life. I haven't saved enough for retirement yet.

My children are my biggest achievement . they are both great well rounded individuals with steady jobs and settled lives with partners. My most important decision was to start my own business which gave me the greatest satisfaction if not the greatest reward for effort.

Yours… Male, 62

Dear…

Still living with Partner, no Children or Grand Children. Still have relatively large family with Brother, Sister, Nephews, Nieces and Cousins. Still living in my current location in the UK, may downsize house to a large flat. Property will be owned with no mortgage.

Hopefully [I'm] still playing golf. Would like to enjoy walking especially as I live in a seaside location. Also would like to spend more time with friends and family. [I've] travelled around the USA, parts of Europe and the Far East, [but I'm] still wishing to travel to Australia, New Zealand and Hawaii. Travel is in the top 3 things I would like to accomplish before I die.

[I have] no mortgage, [I'm] retired and settled in a suitable residence and financially secure. I would be disappointed if I had not achieved this as I have worked relatively hard most of my life, [as an] Air Traffic Controller, [a] fantastic, well paid [job] with almost 100% job satisfaction. Slightly stressful, shift work can be a slight inconvenience.

[My financial] situation is good. [I have] both a state and private pension. Mortgage paid, no outstanding debt. Whilst working I aimed to retire by the age of 58 which should be achievable. Money was important as it has enabled my [family] to have a few luxuries in life such as good holidays and a nice car. My salary was such that it covered most of what I required, [but] maybe [I] should have saved a few thousand more for retirement.

Getting my ATC Licence was my best moment followed by graduating from University. Helping out at a small local charity has also been a highlight as it's nice to give something back. Not leaving school was a huge decision, I was offered a place in the RAF but decided to go to University instead. Not having any children also was a benefit (something others cannot understand) it gave us the freedom and finance to achieve our goals. I would like to add that if I could rate my life then I would happily give it 9 out of 10 for goals achieved, 8 out of 10 for finance and 10 out of 10 for family and friends.

Yours… Male, 50

The letter writing project asked 500 UK adults to write a letter to their future selves deep into old age - a letter to their 'future self' may discover and read as they reflect-back on life. Methodology: online survey completed by 500 economically active respondents aged 18-65. Fieldwork by Trajectory from 12-20 April 2018.

People were invited to imagine themselves in old age and write a letter looking back on their life. They were encouraged to think about: their family and where they live; what they like to do in their spare time and hobbies, including travel; what they would like to achieve in their lives; what their working life and careers would be like; what their financial situation and security looks like, along with the value of money to them. The writers could download their own letter for their own records. All letters were anonymous.